


shit. lets be parents.

by lea_hazel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Ectobiology, Family, Gen, Other, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-24
Updated: 2011-02-24
Packaged: 2017-10-15 22:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/165488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lea_hazel/pseuds/lea_hazel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe the objective is to do better by your kids than your parents did by you (if they did at all). Human families sure are weird.</p>
            </blockquote>





	shit. lets be parents.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to the MSPA art forum's fanfic thread (number 5, I think).

Skaianet V. 0.2.2.0009: Reanimate  
LOADING… LOADING… LOADING…  
WELCOME BACK MR. COOLBRO. IT IS NOW 22:18 CENTRAL TIME.  
STARTUP DIAGNOSTIC COMPLETE.  
RESULTS: NO MALWARE FOUND. SYSTEM IS IN ORDER.  
ROOT >> brocomm.exe -u coolbro -h t -p atc -m silent  
brocomm.exe  
loading server… server loaded.  
connecting client… session received.  
logged in: user: coolbro. handle: t.  
no pending messages.  
…  
con a  
connecting to handle a… connected.  
t~ yours in yet  
t~ hey you there  
t~ I know your there  
t~ come on answer me  
t~ shit  
a~ I’m here, Tom.  
t~ where are you  
a~ No, “mine” isn’t in yet. He gave you the dates. The boy arrives tomorrow, the girl in two days.  
t~ oh there you are  
t~ shit why can you never answer on time  
a~ Try not to fly off the handle.  
a~ You have until tomorrow.  
a~ Why the sudden panic? You knew this was coming.  
t~ im gonna be a shitty dad  
t~ no shit what do you think  
t~ wtf is hass dumpin this shit in our laps  
t~ this shit is crazy  
t~ its crazy  
a~ Like I said, we’ve known this was coming for years.  
a~ Don’t call him Hass, that’s not his name.  
t~ yea well fuck him  
t~ and fuck you too  
t~ im sorry I didnt mean that  
t~ april you there  
a~ I’m here.  
t~ don’t be like that  
t~ youre flippin out too  
a~ I’m not saying this doesn’t present a challenge for both of us.  
a~ If anything, you’ll find it easier than me.  
a~ I’m not exactly maternal. You know that.  
t~ you got a house an a respectable job thats better than me  
t~ probly got food in the fridge too  
a~ A fully stocked refrigerator is the least of the concerns of parenthood.  
a~ We have bigger metaphorical fish to fry, when it comes to child-rearing.  
t~ how do you mean  
a~ Think about how we grew up.  
a~ Try to do everything in the exact opposite manner that he did, and you should be fine.  
t~ hass an the lab you mean  
a~ Yes, the laboratory was the circumstance I was referring to.  
a~ You’ve been out and about in the world for some time now, Tom.  
a~ Try to think, how many people have you met who grew up in a covert subterranean scientific facility?  
t~ none  
t~ but fuck april thers at least fifty other ways  
t~ to fuck up a kids life  
t~ picture this, kid comes home from school  
t~ dads just wakin up from djing in a shitty club for losers all night  
t~ dad dad help me with my homework  
t~ shit son I dropped out when I was fifteen and cant do long fucking division  
t~ and all my teachers  
t~ and the closest thing I had to a dad  
t~ all thought I was a moron  
t~ guess youl just half to fail or something  
t~ fuckin father of the year right there  
t~ man  
a~ You’re overthinking it.  
a~ All a child really needs is love.  
a~ If you manage that – and we both know you will – your protégé will be fine.  
t~ how do you manage all those fancy french letters  
t~ nm  
t~ anyway you give me too much credit  
t~ your kid will kick my kids ass  
t~ probly a str8 a student like you  
a~ Tom, do you know what my co-workers call me?  
t~ and you got a real job to  
a~ Queen Bitch.  
t~ yea so what fuck em  
a~ They’ve known me for less than six months and they already detest me.  
a~ My ex-husband calls me a cold-hearted bitch.  
a~ He’s called me that since we were still married.  
t~ hes a douche  
t~ april why do you listen to thes shits  
a~ Grandfather called me that, too.  
a~ Gordon I mean.  
a~ Among all the people I’ve known in my entire life, that’s the only consensus.  
a~ Do you really think I can make a baby girl love me?  
a~ A house full of food and an attic full of perfect report cards won’t change that.  
t~ why not  
t~ I luv you  
t~ anyway wtf  
t~ this isnt a lousy parent off or somthing  
t~ were both boned  
t~ what are we gonna do  
a~ It’s fate, Tom.  
a~ Que Sera, Sera  
a~ Rather, what will be, already was.  
t~ i guess  
a~ What will happen is the past. It only superficially appears to be the future.  
a~ Whatever happens will be what has happened already.  
a~ If my daughter hates me, that is what will be, and there is very little that I can do about it.  
t~ what if she needs to hate you  
a~ How do you mean?  
t~ like we hated hass  
a~ You mean, what if the game engine requires me to be a bad mother?  
t~ and car with there grandma  
t~ or whatever  
a~ Don’t be absurd.  
a~ What difference does that make?  
t~ made a big diffrence to you  
a~ Besides which, we were teenagers. The children we’re going to receive are infants.  
a~ Psychologically speaking, those are completely different.  
a~ What’s more, I never “needed” to despise him.  
t~ not how I remember it  
t~ but w/e  
t~ anyways i gtg  
a~ Honestly, Tom, I don’t know where you bring these analyses from.  
t~ late gig  
a~ Perhaps you’re right. I have an early morning as well.  
t~ nite april  
a~ Leave the server on.  
t~ sure  
t~ tell her I said wat up  
logging out… session annihilated.  
set message mode: receive.  
ROOT>> hib  
Skaianet V. 0.2.2.0009: Hibernate


End file.
